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Bears
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Aug. 31st, 2006 @ 06:40 am
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More dream weirdness... I wonder if anyone's getting put off by these. If they are, they can say so. But until I get any feedback, here goes nothing.
This dream was really long with a lot of weird stuff in it, but only one part was important. I was driving my car down 620 and then I turned onto lakeway boulevard and kept going. Instead of turning left to go to work, I turned right. This path led me into a hilly area, and the houses became more and more spread out. It then got to the point where there were no houses or trees at all. By the side of the road, there was this really grassy hill. I then noticed that Alex Petty was in the seat next to me, sleeping, but his head was larger than normal. (god knows why) On the hill, I saw 3 fellow lifeguards and some other guy they were with. I wondered why they weren't at work, and then I realized that they were all the people that tended to skip work frequently. I looked at my watch, and it was almost time to get on the job. Thus, I drove some more, took a turn, and miraculously ended up at the swim center that I work at. I noticed that the place was empty and that there were only 2 or 3 guards there, where there were supposed to be 8. One of them came up and complained to me that we were understaffed, and I agreed with them because I had just seen the slackers playing around on that hill.
Suddenly, my boss comes out of nowhere with a small flamethrower, and he starts trying to burn a large log on the ground. He was failing at it though, because little bits would catch on fire, and then hoards of bugs would run out from the holes and the cracks in the wood. It was then that another fellow lifeguard arrived, one that does exist in real life and is very good at freestyle as well as an attention-grabber, started kicking the log. But when my boss tried to set it on fire again, a bear came out of the log and ran around for a minute, then proceeded to tackle the lifeguard. It started to claw him everywhere, but I was so freaked out that I didn't turn to look at the bloody details. I turned and my boss was laughing at him, SLOWLY dialing 911. I grabbed the phone from him, calling him a crazy bastard and I tried 911 myself. It didn't work, and I as I looked over at my friend, the bear had disappeared, and all he had on him was a few spots of dirt and a bump on his head the size of a gumball. I woke up.
Maybe I have some antagonistic feelings toward this person. If so, the cops better give me a restraining order or something, even though I never did try to sic a bear onto him.
But you never know what will happen.Current Mood:  groggy Current Music: None |
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i dont know whats wrong with me. I chased my brother around the house and he squealed like a piggy. For what reason, I know not. I must be demented or something, or maybe it was that coffee drink i had a couple of hours ago... or maybe I'm just trying to procrastinate on reading my macroeconomics textbook for our final.
And I still don't really understand why Natalie keeps saying I "loseth."
I really hope that Ryan Alter isnt in any of my classes this year.Current Mood:  hyper Current Music: The Eraser by Thom Yorke |
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Darn, school starts in 2 days and it doesnt feel right at all. I feel like this summer went by too quickly, possibly because i've been doing stuff the whole time.
I'm scared. I have to start filling out college applications and I'm just scared of it for some reason. And I don't even know where to begin with scholarships...
Oh well. Economics sucks. It's probably going to be my worst grade ever in a class since 6th grade math (damn teacher couldnt do anything but speak italian...).
And I need to stop whining. This spiel (shpiel?) just keeps going on and on in my head forever and won't really stop, even when I tell it to. Something good that happened recently is that I went to a LAN party and enjoyed myself more than I expected, especially in the face of a bunch of Call Of Duty veterans... the only downside of it all is that:
1) I feel like a complete and total nerd/geek.
2) I've already vowed not to spend any money until I've saved up for a new gaming computer. It's gonna make those expensive starbucks even harder to resist.
Expense, expense, expense. The expense of studying is free time. The expense of eating apples is not eating oranges. In economics, they call that the "opportunity cost."
...Hey! I learned something from that godforsaken class after all!Current Mood:  blah Current Music: Nothing |
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So what's lying around today? Me. For once this week, I don't have to work (yesss...)
ACC is starting to freak me out. All throughout the semester this kid has been coming to class, sleeping and talking back to the teacher. This created a heavy tension between the two, and boiling points were reached when the kid came into class wearing a t-shirt that read in big letters: "fuck y'all i'm from texas." So since then, the teacher has been trying to get the kid removed. But the kid goes and complains as well, because the teacher keeps kicking him out of the class.
So today, the kid was kicked out, but then he came back in with two police officers. They said they'd like to have a word with the teacher. So they dismissed us from class an hour early.
Victory? I'm not so sure. Even though the teacher is really boring, i still hope he doesnt lose his job.
Another thing that's lying around is the fact that I quit going to deviantArt. This made a lot of people angry, and they sent me a lot of nasty comments on the page. And the fact that they were angry made ME angry because it's shocking how people don't have the capacity to understand why one needs to move away from something. Of course, I was a bit unspecific, because in my "goodbye note" i said I was leaving for "personal issues." Then they got angry. It's just shocking how they don't seem to have any sympathy for the fact that my reasons for leaving were private. One person even went as far as to say I was leaving just for the attention. And I would say to him, "au contraire, mon frere." (on the contrary, brutha).
But I don't talk to angry people, because there is no rationing with a furious mind. Oh well.Current Mood:  aggravated Current Music: Some classical music playing on the family stereo |
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So, I'm at this house somewhere in Rhode Island, to see a man named John the Fisherman. I waltz in (literally) wearing a black and white suit and a black hat. I take something out of my pocket, and it's a police badge. It signifies that I apparently work for the FBI. So I'm looking for John. The house has terracotta tiles covering one half of the house, and creaky wood paneling covering the other, which is odd because the floor looks brand new, and therefore shouldn't creak. The house is one enormous rectangle. It's all one room, with the terracotta half on a raised step about a foot high, since the house is on the side of a hill that leads into a large lake which can be seen through a large array of windows that cover the wall I'm facing. The wall to my right is half-covered with windows, and has a stove and cabinets. The left wall has a piano against it, with a gaudy fake green plant and a white bowl hanging from the ceiling with ivy growing out of it, some of which has attached itself to the white wall. Also built into the wall is a sink, which is surrounded by more of the terracotta tiles. It's a pretty gaudy house, but it's got an excellent view. Has a slightly unkempt and realistic air, yet it feels surreal because there are no doors except the front one and there are no hallways, no rooms, no beds and no sofas. It's just this one room.
There's a heavy-set, wizened woman sitting next to the windowed wall in an old rocking chair. She has frizzy hair, that makes it look like she has a grey afro. She rocks back and forth in the chair, not saying anything, and suddenly, a little kid appears. He's about half my height, with a buzz-cut hairstyle and he's wearing a white t-shirt with some kind of graphic on it. He runs around in circles, screaming something unintelligible, and then the woman starts screaming something unintelligible at HIM. I blink my eyes, and the kid is gone. I run outside, down to the docks at the lake, and the kid's head is sticking up between the wooden planks, and he's still alive. His body is below the dock, but his neck is pinched thin enough to fit through the cracks in between the planks. It's almost like some weird cartoon. I bust him out and ask him where John the Fisherman is. I blink my eyes again and i'm back in the House.
John is sitting across from me. For some strange reason, he looked suspiciously like Colin Farrell, wearing grimy clothes and a trucker's hat. I started questioning him, and he answered. Yet I had no idea what either of us were saying. I remember slapping him across the face very hard and saying "YOU GONNA GET THE CHAIR!!" And he must have, because I blinked my eyes again and there was a navy colored table cloth, made of velvet, covering the place where he used to be. In gold emboridered letters on the cloth, it showed the seal of the president, and said something about John the Fisherman getting the Chair.
I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I guess it goes to show you that even though you're an FBI agent, you still don't have all the answers.Current Mood:  pensive Current Music: Some classical music playing on the family stereo |
| » Zets |
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"Haben sie (zie?) gehort das deutsche band?
Mit a bang
Mit a boom
Mit a bing bang bing bang boom
ohh haben sie gehort das deutsche band?
Mit a bang
Mit a boom
Mit a bing bang bing bang boom."
Just a little song from "The Producers" that I've had stuck in my head for awhile. Finally had the guts to sit down this morning and repair my windows computer... thing was INFESTED with spyware. But today is not the day for complaining... today is the day for jubilation because I found a good copy of the StrongBad Techno song that I do the high-pitched vocals for!!
And I finally got my own copy of Warcraft so I can play online. And no, I won't ever ever ever turn into a recluse.
E V E R.
Jun. 25th, 2006 @ 08:26 pm
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| » Dream "n"` |
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I had a dream last night. If you haven't heard any of my dreams, then let me tell you... you're in for an unusual experience.
I dream I'm lifeguarding at a swim center. Everything is all fine and good, I'm walking around with one of my friends, and for some reason I spit into my hand. Another employee sees me and a disgusted expression crosses her face. Embarrassed, I run to a hose to wash it off. After doing so I try to find her to tell her that I am clean, but she left. Either that or she was avoiding me, oh well. I take my stand and there's this kid running around. His mom comes up to me and says that he has some head issues. I tell her that I will keep an eye on him, and as he's running around, he bends over to look at something...
and then his head falls off.
I dash over to him and grab the head, and then the mom appears out of nowhere, takes it from me, and puts it back on the kid's body. She tells me it's allright, and then I go back to my stand. The kid then tries to do a somersault and then his head falls off again. This happens about 10 to 12 more times. After about the thirteenth time, they leave and I leave my stand. Suddenly a group of people come up to me, put my head in a vice and strap me down to a table. I try to scream in protest, but they put something over my mouth. My boss then comes up with a needle and sticks it into my arm. He then picks up this nasty-looking, thin, black gun with a nozzle pointing downward, possibly containing some kind of needle. He says to me:
"despite the painkillers we just gave you, this is going to hurt A LOT!"
I woke up and didn't go back to bed. I don't really want to go to work today.
Jun. 21st, 2006 @ 11:35 am
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| » Mr. Casagranda Hates Cars |
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I should be studying for my government test about now, but I'm kind of sick about reading about Congress and Bureaucracies (they're aliiiiive) and the Executive Branch. I now understand why you have to be so smart to get into the good law schools.
ANYWAY...
In class today, our gov't teahcer, Mr. Casagranda, made a car related statement that might have alluded to a secret love of cars, but then he lay his true feelings on the table (which happens often, I might add)
"I hate cars by the way."
this was interesting, because of all the radical things I've heard him say, I actually truly agreed with this. I even told him in the parking lot after class that I agreed and then we got into this nice little discussion regarding the only reasons we bother with them and the reasons we WOULD want to bother with them.
Reason 1: Cars get us from point A to point B.
Reason 2: There really isn't one.
Then I noted that if I didn't have to pay for energy to power the car, and if I could clean and fix it myself, then it would be much more worthwhile. Wouldn't it?
Jun. 19th, 2006 @ 03:42 pm
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| » CLICK! |
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So I'm at work. I'm getting off my stand, picking up a few kickboards and then this girl I knew slightly on the swim team says "hi" to me. This is odd because she rarely ever talked to me before. Around her was another swim team girl, and then a lifeguard from the swim team up on the lifeguard stand. Somehow I got into their conversation.
But first a little history about the lifeguard. He's very popular. All the girls on the swim team like him in one way or another, even though he often tends to be a self-centered jerk most of the time (except when he agreed to work for me one time, that was about all I can remember). He's a big partier and is even one of the best freestylers on the team. Has everything going for him.
Back to the main story, he was talking about how he was grounded and his parents wouldn't let him go somewhere (not surprising in the least bit), but he failed to mention where. So I ask him, and he says, "So-and-so's birthday party."
A little history about "So-and-so." I assumed I was good friends with So-and-so, since I helped him out with his physics homework all year even though he was failing the class. But he never thinks to ask me to do stuff with him and never invites me to anything, but he hangs out with people like the lifeguard I mentioned earlier.
So I make a sarcastic statement about So-and-so not inviting me to his party when the aforementioned lifeguard says:
"I don't think you'd want to go, Zane. There's going to be alcohol."
It was at that moment that a little "CLICK!" sounded within me. That's why they never invited me to anything. That's why I wasn't included in the higher end of the swim-team-social-hierarchy. THAT'S THE KEY! They thought all this time that I was some kind of godforsaken goody-two-shoes. Which was probably due to the fact that I once said that I never liked the taste of beer. But that doesn't mean I'm not willing to try anything else.
Perhaps what they meant by not inviting me was the fact that they thought I would be MATURE in my consumption rather than them being IMMATURE, like they are, therefore making me a goody-two-shoes, or whatever. I wouldn't blame them. At the beginning of the year, I seemed to pass off an air of somewhat snooty maturity, even though a child inside me was screaming to be let out. Even so, I wouldn't rat them out. I wouldn't betray them. I may have a few drinks as opposed to their many, but that doesn't mean they can EXCLUDE me.
But then, a voice inside reminds me about the long history of alcohol abuse on both sides of my family. My cousin on my father's side was put in rehab. My mother's mother had been drinking since before age nineteen and is still suffering the effects.
So here I am, faced with the classic dilemma: Give in to peer pressure, or give out and be a loser in their eyes?
If posession of moderation and modesty mean you're a loser, then I'm going to keep losing their game. I still might not get invited to anything, but if they're all so close-minded as to go as far as shutting me out because I wish to be modest, then so be it.
Thanks for the good times, "friends."
Jun. 16th, 2006 @ 11:03 pm
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| » Name_List.java |
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I was just thinking today as I was leaving work how many nicknames I've accumulated over the years. Lets seee...
zany (zaney)
zany brainy
zane the brain
zane the insane
insane zane
insane zane in the membrane
insaneazane
zany boy
zane is insane in Maine with Dane on the train... (this one keeps changing each time i hear it...)
Z
Big Z
Wow, that's a11 so far. Wonder if theres more...
Oh well enough narcissism for now (if you can call it that). Work was boring today. Really. When all the employees met after closing time, my boss asked me to state the Pros and Cons of my day. Here's what I said:
"The pro was the fact that time went by quickly. The con was the fact that I was falling asleep on my shifts."
Which was true, to a degree. I didn't REALLY fall asleep, but I was darn close. It isn't my fault that people aren't stupid enough to purposefully hurt themselves (except the guys on Jackass and that Bam Margera show...)
But if I DID fall asleep, things would seem very real because my dreams become so detailed that I often get confused. In fact, I could be dreaming this right now!! (cue dramatic realization crescendo)
Ah well.
Jun. 13th, 2006 @ 09:17 pm
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| » The First In A While |
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Well, I found a friend on here that uses this journal, so I'm gonna see if I can keep up with it this time.
So yeah, I guess I still exist.
Jun. 12th, 2006 @ 11:25 pm
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| » Random Survey |
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1.Middle name: Alexander
2.Age: 16
3.Hometown: Was Brooklyn, NY, but is now Austin, TX
4.Eye colour: Brown
5.Height: 5'10"
6.Weight: fluctuates between 145 and 150lbs.
7.Do you chase subway doors?: only when I have to.
8.Are there any weird tricks you can do with your body?: Cross my eyes, make lots of interesting sounds, imitate nearly any voice I hear
9.Are all of your senses functioning?: Everything but my common sense
10.Any irrational fears?: Suburbs.
11.Are you afraid of the dark?: Sometimes, but not too often
12.Have you ever wet the bed?: Once, as far as I can remember
13.Have you ever fallen out of bed?: yeah, but I was half-asleep
14.Do you like yourself?: Some aspects, but for the most part, no.
15.Can you kiss your elbow?: nope.
16.Touch your nose with your tongue?: Nope.
17.Are you an optimist or a pessimist?: The glass is half full of both water and empty space.
18.Why: depends on my mental condition
19.Are you drawn to people you disagree with?: If they have other redeeming qualities, yes.
20.What’s the most you’ve ever drank in one sitting (Alcoholic or otherwise)?: four bottles of water
21.Do you read the National Enquirer?: It's crap. I barely even read the front page.
22.Have you ever been in love?: Somewhat.
23.What’s the most exotic fruit you’ve ever eaten?: Lichi Nuts
24.Do cute things gross you out?: Yes, morbidly.
25.Did you ever seriously think you were going crazy?: All the time.
26.Is there something you just can’t win at, ever?: Being the best at anything.
27.Is there something no one can beat you at?: I wish...
28.Do you give change to homeless people?: yeah.
29.Have you ever seriously considered suicide?: Almost.
30.What was the last good thing to happen to you?: I got extremely satisfied with a picture I drew.
31.What’s your fetish?: Consumer Electronics, women, and one other thing you dont want to know.
32.What’s the last thing you killed?: Possibly a frog... I ran over it when driving home one night.
33.Do people tend to like you more than you like them?: Nah, things usually balance out in my relationships.
34.When you meet someone, are you usually inclined to like them or dislike them?: Dislike. But only if they have certain qualities.
35.What’s your favourite cancelled TV show?: Everybody Loves Raymond.
36.Have you ever been to Canada?: No.
37.To Mexico?: No, but I got pretty close once.
38.Did Bill Clinton deserve to be impeached?: No, even though he was making some disagreeable choices which he is ironically trying to make up for now. But he still shouldnt have lied.
40.Are you a geometry or algebra person?: Algebra!!!
41.Do you own an Ipod?: Yep. 20gigs, baby.
42.Are you an insomniac?: Sometimes, but only if I stay up past one AM.
43.Are you type A or type B?: As in blood type? I dont know.
44.Are you “mysterious?”: hell no.
45.What’s your favourite song?: "Like Spinning Plates: Live version" by Radiohead
46.Do you crumple or fold?: Collapse completely.
47.Do/Did you do well in school?: I was real good in elementary and middle school. But once I hit 8th grade, my sucesses became limited.
48.What are you allergic to?: Dust, penicillin.
49.What’s your favourite thing about your body?: My hands.
50.Least favourite?: My lack of strength and body type.
51.Do you like your body overall?: Yes. I keep it in good condition.
52.Did you used to want to be a Vet when you grew up?: Never. I used to hate animals.
53.Do you answer personal questions on surveys honestly?: yes.
54.Does power mean a lot to you?: It corrupts, it consumes, and it doesn't make toast. So no, it doesnt.
55.What’s the most uncharacteristic thing you’ve ever done?: Picked a fight.
56.Have you ever hugged a stranger?: No.
57.Are you a bookworm?: Depends on the book.
58.Are you a “goth?”: No.
59.Do you have an eating disorder?: Nah, but I cant hold much food without getting sick.
60.Have you ever said something racist and then regretted it?: Yes.
61.What colour would you like your eyes to be?: I like them the way they are.
62.Do you sleepwalk?: No.
63.Do you do any other creepy things?: I talk with people on the internet that i've never met in person
64.Do you like money?: Like power, it corrupts, consumes, and doesnt make toast. But it's good to have.
65.Do you hang out in seedy bars?: No.
66.Have you ever done drugs?: No.
67.Do you worry people?: Not really.
68.Do you practice witchcraft?: tried and failed.
69.Do you worry about being politically correct?: Most of the time.
70.Do you like modern art?: I love it, mainly because I like figuring out what it means.
71.Has a painting ever made you cry?: No.
72.Where were you on 9/11?: Science.
73.Have you ever overdosed?: No.
74.What’s your favourite team?: The Yankees, maybe. I dont really care about that stuff though.
75.Do you pick fights?: Once, and I've regretted it forever.
76.What’s your religion?: Catholic/Agnostic
77.Have you ever been locked in a closet or bathroom?: Many times.
78.When you want to hide, where do you go?: My room, or someplace where there's no one around.
79.Hot or cold?: Hot.
80.Are you OK?: I dunno. Are YOU?
81.Do you believe in evolution?: It makes more sense than Creation, in my opinion.
82.Do you prefer TV, books or magazines?: Books and Magazines.
83.Would you travel in time to the past or future, even if you knew you could never come back?: No way. If we were intended to know the future, we would have figured out a way to get there by now.
84.Indoors or outdoors?: Outdoors, if the weather is perfect.
85.Is there anything you really want, but can’t ever have?: No.
86.Do people often call you lazy?: Never.
87.Are you a sinner?: Yes. Everyone is.
88.What’s your favourite type of cheese?: Mozzarella.
89.Do you have seasonal affective disorder?: WHAT!?
90.What’s your favourite time of day?: from 6:00PM to 10:00PM, evening.
91.Are you planning a coup?: peut-etre...
92.Where are your piercings and tattoos, if you have?: None.
93.Do you use internet slang?: Not unless i'm typing quickly, but mostly simple stuff like LOL, or LMAO or WTF?
94.Do you like sushi?: If I could, I'd live on the stuff.
95.Do you tan or just burn?: Tan. Then burn.
96.Who’s the last person you IM’ed?: probably Max or Chris.
97.Are you easily messed with?: Yes.
98.Are you taken or single?: Taken.
99.Are you really fussy about things?: No.
100. Where would you most like to be right now?: In NYC.
Jul. 8th, 2005 @ 12:53 pm
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| » Anger of Self |
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I literally feel like a slacker with no life. All I've done throughout spring break is play DDR, use my computer, and draw. And because I dont have swimming, I'm freaking bored.
But thats all about to change...
BECAUSE I GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE!!! Now I get to spend hours of my time as a corporate slave working for a less-than average wage at a big retail store!!! Or even better, a Starbucks!! Yes, that wonderful place where you have to fill every need of the yuppie customers that go in and out of the store every second, demanding their hyper-caffeinated drinks with multiple choices of flavors! WHAT FUN!!! And it's all because I got a license that allows me to drive to these places. It's so WONDERFUL to be a teenager in this day and age!
... yeeep. Hopefully a slight flavor of sarcasm climbed into your throat as you digested those over-exuberant words. My parents wont even let me drive alone...
Mar. 18th, 2005 @ 05:32 pm
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| » Logarithms Suck |
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Why does it get so hard to keep up with people in school? Are some people smart because they were born that way, or what? You begin to question you abilities when bad test grades begin popping up.
But then, why do we have tests anyway? Well, they are measures of our intelligence, telling teachers and other scholars where we stand on the academic ladder. They were once viewed as a small side-effect of the actual learning process.
However, twentieth-century thinking has reversed that value. Now, people don't want to learn things for the sake of learning them anymore, they just want to learn what they can use on a test. And then, it suddenly becomes a huge competition to be on top. And a lot of classes nowadays exist mainly for the purpose of getting you ready for some test. That's the only reason they changed the scheduling at my school. It was to allow for more time to prepare for those damned tests.
I don't know about anybody else, but I take advanced classes because I want to learn things, and gain a deep understanding of them. The tests can go screw themselves. The reason you go to school is to learn how to manipulate and handle the real world. Sure, you might be good at taking tests, but are those test-taking skills going to help you do your future job any better? I don't think so. But let me hear what you think about it.
Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 10:23 pm
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| » Life Sucks When You're Not Doing Anything |
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Oh, how it so sweetly sucks. Last saturday was about the worst saturday of my life.
It was the district swim meet and I was ready to swim the 500, get it over with and fullfill the promise I made to myself that I would get into Regionals this year. Well, the damned administrators/judges/whoever organizes the heats had NINE people in the 500, when there were only supposed to be SIX. And only the top SIX in any event can go to Regionals. That means the three slowest people are put in the first heat and are denied the chance of going to regionals.
And I was in the first heat.
It really kills you inside when you give something everything you have, but that something doesnt give you anything back. I gave it my all, but the person next to me still won the heat. I could barely get out of the water when I was finished. But then, both me and the first heat winner's times were beaten by each of the SIX lucky bastards in the next heat. They all got to go to regionals. They were happy. They can celebrate.
And as a result, my friend who beat me, and I myself are now the only two boys who aren't going to San Antonio for Regionals.
Fucking shame. I broke the promise to myself, and even though my coach tried to console me, there was nothing anybody could say to take the shame off my mind. The rest of the day was bitter, and I almost got my dad and I killed when I was driving back home.
Now I'm not on the team anymore. And it's all because I was beaten by people who get extra help and coaching from a fancy-ass club at the University of Texas, and other exclusive, expensive swim clubs.
The world can go fuck itself.
Feb. 2nd, 2005 @ 08:12 pm
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| » Ca fait longtemps qu'on ne s'est pas vu. |
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That's one of the phrases I have to know for a French test I have tomorrow. It means (for those of you who don't understand French) "It's been a long time since we've seen eachother." Basically, it refers to me and this Live Journal account.
Unfortunately, I'm not dead.
District meet is coming up, and I'm real nervous about it, because I don't want to screw up on anything on saturday. But even if I do, and I don't make it to Regionals, it's all good. At least I've got school. But then, who gives a f"""k about that, anyway? Apparently, it would be somebody who likes school better than home. Which doesn't really apply to me, because both have an equal amount of loathing in my life. Today was good though. I feel like I aced a chemistry test, and I'm not failing math, which is really good. So I went home and celebrated by watching "America's Most Shocking Police Videos" and 2 episodes of CSI on TV... and I don't watch TV too often.
Bleh. I had a long, drawn out conversation with my friend Natalie over the ups and downs of society and how the latter is affected by 80's music and culture. Then I convinced her that Franz Ferdinand was NOT a popular band from the 1980's, and she flipped out. It's fun to get in weird conversations like that. Then, while Jaclyn was getting her stuff out of her locker, I scared her for the nth time this week. It's kind of become our past-time, you could say.
Also, I had an odd dream, but my radio slapped me and I immediately forgot it.
Jan. 26th, 2005 @ 08:31 pm
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| » I KNEW IT!! |
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Damned shame, isnt it? But it's freakishly accurate...
Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 09:39 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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| You scored as True Neutral. A True Neutral person has two faces- either these people are merely apathetic, preferring to focus their minds on more important things, or these people truly believe in a balance of all things. To these people, there can be no light without some darkness. These people also have no dedication to, or intrinsic distrust of, laws.
True Neutral | | 80% | Lawful Good | | 80% | Neutral Good | | 55% | Neutral Evil | | 50% | Chaotic Good | | 50% | Chaotic Evil | | 35% | Lawful Neutral | | 25% | Chaotic Neutral | | 25% | Lawful Evil | | 20% | </td>
What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com |
well isnt that nice.
Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 09:33 pm
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| » F---ing Shame |
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Well, today really sucked, partially because of events yesterday that caused it.
Chapter ONE--YESTERDAY-The Trouble Begins
The day goes pretty good, until Algebra 2. I walk into the classroom, and discover that I know nothing when I get 3 of my quizzes back-- they were all below 70%, the lowest one being a 30. Then, since I knew that I had a test the next day, I decided that I should skip swim practice to study for the test with my teacher in the morning. Everything is good, except that district is a couple of weeks from now, and I didnt think that skipping practice ONE DAY would pose a problem. Also, I had FINALLY been entered in my best event for district: the 50 freestyle instead of the 500 freestyle. This was a big relief for me, because I never had to swim the 500 free in my life, and I never wanted to. Nothing could go wrong.
Or so I thought.
Chapter TWO--TODAY-Satan's Phone Rings for Me.
I wake up. I do my chores. I draw for awhile. All the while, I'm not at swim practice because I'm going to study for my test that I don't want to fail. Then, Ben comes into my room and tells me that my coach is on the phone and that he sounds pissed at me. I went to the phone, thinking that he was just gonna bitch me out for not being at practice. Well, he did that, and then told me that I was out of the 50 freestyle and back in the 500. I told him that I was doing bad in algebra and needed to study, but he didn't care. He was still kicking me out of my best event. I slammed the phone in the reciever and fretted about everything. Oh, if only he knew how much stuff I have to juggle every day to keep up. If only he knew that school comes first for me. If only he wasn't such an ass. If only... if only... if only...
FUCK
I'm still mad about it, even as I write this. All throughout the morning I was saying asinine little poems to myself to help forget about everything, since the situation changed back to what it was before: swimming the 500 freestyle. I get so fucking mad. every time I'm almost going to succeed in something, my hopes crash like a burning jet plane into a large, populated city. And that's why I'm where I am now. I know good things happen. But they're so small, and every time I'm close to getting what I want, I always screw it up somehow.
It's a gripping, spreading pain that gets me when I do that. And for a split second, I'm on the burning jet plane.
Jan. 11th, 2005 @ 04:07 pm
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Well, it's finallly friday, and I'm here, on LiveJournal, which I haven't been on in awhile. (wow, talk about run-on sentences...) Christmas went all right, but New Years was kind of boring. We saw "The Aviatior." The oh-so-great Leo DiCaprio wasn't that bad... he pulled off a psychotic genius pretty well.
It kills me how people can be so smart and yet have so many internal and social problems.
So what happened this week? I finally got back to school on tuesday, and found out how much I forgot in French when I used the wrong form of an adjective, thus implying the girl I was talking about was a man. It's amazing how something that small can change the meaning of a statement in French. I'm glad we don't have to worry about Masculine or Feminine words in English. Then I had Chemistry, and that was weird because my teacher acts like an insane hippie most of the time. But I'm not necessarily worried about science. I wasn't worried about math either, until I set foot into my Algebra 2 classroom. I then discovered how hard it actually was, but I'm still not sure if I'm in the right place or not.
And so the week progressed, as usual.
Now, it's friday, and about 4 hours ago, at swim practice, my coach got my friend David, Taylor and I together and told us that we were going to swim a 200 sprint, and whoever got the best time would get to swim the 200 yard freestyle at District. So, we warmed up, and then swam the event. I was well ahead of the other two guys, in the clear, and then I MESSED UP ON A TURN and the other guy got in front of me, finishing just a tenth of a second before me. It's amazing how right when I'm about to succeed in something, I ALWAYS screw up at the last second. Oh well, I can wait another year to swim at regionals.
And thats all I have to say.
Jan. 7th, 2005 @ 08:08 pm
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